Though I'm saying it myself, I think my winter sunflowers have come out superb :) I'm so happy with the colours and depth I've managed to create. I also like the metaphorical aspect given to the painting, juxtaposing a dead remnant of a flower along with a newly opening bud and the other flowers in various stages of development, or stages in life.
I love your work.......but y is your work, your posts always about you.......why is it never about the family around you.I am sure good work has a wonderful family backing it always.
ReplyDeleteHello Anonymous.. Thanks for appreciating my work. As for my posts being always about me.. well, this is my space, my little corner, where I put myself in.. What do you want to know about my family?
DeleteNo there nothing i want to know. I dont think thats matters anyway. I have been following your post for over a year now. i love your style. I also love the way you talk about your mum sister brother.
ReplyDeleteBut back home when you wrote about days you were not well you may have just forgotten to mention wh otook care of your. Who do you come home to and who comes home for you. Stay blessed :)
You know you have an unfair advantage over me.. you do know that don't you? You've been following my posts for over a year you say.. you know my name..you have seen me in my pictures.. so you know my face.. you know about the family I have talked about in my posts.. you know my thoughts.. you know where I live, where I go.. It's almost as if you have met me through a one way mirror.. While you remain nameless, faceless, on the other side of the mirror which I can't look through, dear Anonymous.
DeleteNo, I didn't forget to mention who took care of me when I was not well.. I deliberately didn't mention it. Why I didn't is because there are reasons I find it hard to talk about something like that to strangers.. or someone nameless and faceless. Not because there is anything to hide, but because I need to at least know who I am talking to before I can. Suffice to say.. I have no one like that.. "who I come home to and who comes home for me" kind of thing.. But life is not simply black and white.. but is made up of several shades of grey.. it's complex.. and I wish I could open up about it to a kindred spirit.. a friend who would understand.. I am pretty sure you understand what I mean. So, won't you tell me who you are, Anonymous.. share a little of your life with me?
Well i really appreciate the fact that you took the pain of replying to my otherwise stupid question.Its your life you choose how much of it you'd like to portray. And again i feel wonderful that you have not shoooed me away yet for asking pointless stuff on your personal blog.
ReplyDeleteYou know what, i choose to stay anonymous for certain reasons. First is because i know you. In saying so I mean i know your family.heard a little about you where in i should have heard a lot. I know its puzzling. But i do not disclose my identity simply because i dont want you to judge me or i dont want you to think i judge you either. We have often been taught to see and understand life in a particular way, anything otherwise makes our brows go closer.
I do not know if i am really confusing the hell out of you but let me just say i enjoy your work. I have pictured you in my head through your blogs and may be i have also pictured you in my head from whatever little i have heard about you, and i started following your blogs to make your image a bit more clear in my mind. And in the process i have simply fallen in love with the way you write.
Sometimes there are people in your life or family who you love a lot....get attached to ,rever and respect. And when we see or hear something that seems to be troubling their life, its pains us and we take the liberty to go ahead and try to find out the whys and hows. I know in my heart that its not right,i know it is none of my business, but alas only if our minds did what i heart told !
I dearly hope what i said will not affect your response or lookout. I really really love your work and i would want to be introduced to you only as an admirer.I hope i dint spoil the serenity of your "Silent canvas".
I apologise every bit if i have.
Oh don't apologise so much, dear Anonymous.. if you want to remain incognito, it's ok with me.. As for shooing you or anybody away.. the thought wouldn't cross my mind.. unless I found it really pointless, which I didn't..
DeleteYou know my family? Now I'm really intrigued.. I really wish you would reveal your identity.. I am a completely non-judgmental sort of person.. have always been so.. but as I grow older I become more and more so..As for you judging me.. that wouldn't bother me.. I am really beyond bothering about anybody judging me... LOL.. I am 58 years old and that kind of thing is completely irrelevant.. I am completely unconventional in my mental outlook.. and I have never been straitjacketed in any manner to "be taught to see and understand life in a particular way" and my brows are always unruffled both about myself and anyone else I may meet in this path of my life :)
No you are not confusing me.. I quite understand it that you may want to keep yourself to yourself.. but if you feel the need of a friend.. here I am.. a completely non-judgmental person :)
Thank you for appreciating my writing.. my work.. As for troubles in life.. I guess we all have our share of them.. I think troubles are teaching experiences in life... we are meant to learn from them and grow stronger, mentally and spiritually.. I am quite contented with my life.. And no, dear "admirer" you haven't spoilt my serenity.. but thanks for caring.. and no need to apologise for anything :)
Thanks again. I am 28, two year and half or so old into the Putatunda family. I used to live in Pune but I am now settled in Mumbai.
ReplyDeleteI guess I will have to wait a year or two more to be able to unclutter my mind completely from getting unnecessarily complicated :)
You wouldn’t know me as we were never introduced neither do I think we will ever be. But it’s really great to be able to talk to someone with such a beautiful mental outlook as it seems from your words.
Sometimes when I sit alone and listen to myself speak I find a weird conversation in my head as to why people have to suffer the way they do. Or at least they seem to. What did someone do to deserve such a hard life. Especially when you get attached to someone it really pains to see them living such a loveless life...or so it seems.
You might have been blessed with lovely people around you, a lovely space within yourself to be content with, but I am sure everybody is not so fortunate.
As much as I realise and reiterate that much of this is of no business to me but again could you be my friend and tell me what have such people done to deserve such a lonely life?
Stay blessed.
Dear Anonymous..28, and 2 and a half years into the Putatunda family.. that tells me you are female and married into the family... how intriguing.. I'm sort of surprised we haven't met even though you've lived in Pune.. considering that Pune is such a small place, and Bengali families, especially with the same surname, are even smaller.. miniscule.. in the city :)
ReplyDeleteAs for loneliness and suffering.. these are eternal existential conundrums that have beset humankind since time immemorial.. there are no easy answers, except, I think that suffering, pain are learning experiences which teach us to get stronger..
And as for "loveless life"... One must seek emotional fulfillment within oneself and suddenly all the world seems loving.. It is never out there, but within oneself, is what I'm trying to say.. So it is up to each of us to create the happy spaces within ourselves.. We may not be able to control many things that are external, but we certainly are in control of our internal selves.. happiness, love, joy are things that we can fill our internal lives with, and often even external factors seem to fall in place.. We can choose to be happy or unhappy, lonely or fulfilled.. with whatever life offers to us.. We create what we deserve :)
Yes I am a female and married into the family for quite some time now. No offence but I have been told you do not meet anyone from the family for reasons unknown. Hence I guess we dint meet. Again it’s only what I have been told, don’t know if it has any merit in it at all.
ReplyDeleteI agree to what you have said about being able to create this little happy space within our self to be able find happiness around, but there are few things beyond that as well.
As much as I agree that seeking emotional fulfilment within oneself is a good way to go but that is where the concept of living together or marriage comes to play. Don’t you think there is so much that a couple shares emotionally which would never be possible with anyone else otherwise. Don’t you think there is any need of being able to bond or spend time their partners emotionally? I don’t say that this holds true everywhere and hence the instruments of divorce or breakup or simply choosing to live alone.
Why would someone live together yet be so far mentally or emotionally? Whatever happens to wedding vows? Shared responsibilities? For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health?
Do they really mean nothing? And if it really doesn’t , why can’t people just let go of the other person involved so that they both can live a life of their choice with the love, dignity and honour they deserve?
How does that add any value to either of their lives ?
Dear Anonymous.. Hi.. great to meet a member of the family here :) - Though I really wonder who told you that I do not meet anyone from the family.. It's not like that.. You see, the older I get, the less I feel the need for so-called 'social meets'.. and it's usually because I usually do not find people that are like minded, share my interests, share my vibes.. that sort of thing.. So it's not that I "don't meet family".. I usually don't meet anybody at all. Besides, the interests that occupy me, such as painting and writing are reclusive pursuits, at least for me.. they don't leave me much time to socialize. What about you? Do you socialize a lot with the family.. with other friends?
DeleteAs for you question about marriage.. about two people living together.. Indeed I agree that in a good, positive relationship, where there is a meeting of mind and spirit.. two people can have a very fulfilling relationship, emotionally and spiritually. Such bonds grow stronger and make the two people in that relationship stronger, happier, more fulfilled.
Divorce.. a parting of ways.. occurs when there is a breakdown in those bonds.. or if those bonds never did exist in the first place. There are many marriages that take place, especially in the arranged marriage system, where there is no meeting of minds and spirits. And sometimes even in love marriages, people discover that there are deep spiritual and emotional and mental differences that had not been apparent before.
There can be many reasons why people choose to live together after discovering that they are far apart mentally and emotionally.. often, especially when they are young, it's because of their children.. financial reasons are also a major factor, especially for women, since after raising their children and being a housewife, it becomes too late for them to find jobs that pay enough to maintain their lifestyle.. But these are just some obvious reasons that come to mind.. every relationship/marriage is unique and when they break up they could have unique reasons for that happening, and if the couple chooses to stay in a bad marriage, there could be unique reasons for that too.. One can't generalize about people or relationships, really..
I don't want to seem prying.. but why are you asking me these questions.. If there is a problem, you could share them with me.. and I would try and help if I could.. As I said, I'm completely non-judgmental.. so you needn't worry on that score :)
I find a huge similiarity in the ways you think and I do, at least by what I infer through these brief conversations. I too paint and read and yes write a wee bit too (Generally silly things which are not so silly to me ...LOL) in whatever little free time I get , and absolutely agree that they do leave us no time at to socialize. I too hardly meet anyone socially, from my family or my in laws. Just sometimes when things turn up and relatives gather I get to see them. But I have my favourite people amongst them too, talking to who fits in my schedule just right. In fact a very few who I really care a lot about and kinda look forward to talk to.
ReplyDeleteI am employed as an IT engineer and work six days a week, needless to say I guard my free time with my life. I am ferociously independent in my thoughts and quite a bit of a narcissist as well (not that it’s a great thing)
Ha ha… prying no please, I’d rather thank you for caring much and offering me to share with you my problems if any. Thankfully there’s none I could ask help for as of now, I was generally asking these things to get answers to some questions in my head. Now that you have replied I have more clarity in understanding to some weird “whys” that clouded my mind.
Thank you for your response. Each time I read your blog, get a reply to my silly comments…….I admires you a bit more.
I’m sure I am in no position to offer you to share any of your issues with me if you want, because you already seem so sorted. Hope you find all that you are looking for in life and more.
Hope to talk to you again, bug you with some stupid comments and in turn make sense out of them.
Stay blessed!!
Dear Anonymous.. Apologies for the late reply.. this past week has been super-duper busy.. as my 5 year old nephew, Neil, would say :) He had a week's break from school, so I just spent a lot of time with him.. every moment with his is so precious..
Deleteyes, we do seem to share many personality traits.. how lovely that you too paint and write.. would love to see your works..
I wonder why you had those "questions in your head" and what were those "weird whys".. do tell me..
As for sorting out my issues, yes, I have more or less.. In any case, I, a 58 year old, would hardly dump my unsorted issues on you, a 28 year old.. you're younger even than my son.. While I'm not suggesting that younger people are not intelligent enough, it's just that a person of my age has lived a life time longer than someone as young as you..
But I am certainly enjoying these chats with you here, so you can bug me all you want.. I don't find your comments stupid at all :)
Take care :)
A big thank you would definitely share some of my works with you. I dont have any on this system as this is my office Laptop. Enjoyyy a lot and do keep writing about your tour. We enjoy reading them.
ReplyDeleteTake care :) will surely write to you sometime soon. Byeeeee